The Haunted Weblog

Friday, February 28, 2003

Ghost Bride – In my never-ending effort to inspire writers of horror stories I would like to introduce you to a Hong Kong couple who are looking for a man to marry their dead daughter. They’ll provide a big dowry and a free apartment. All he has to do is marry a ghost.
Book 9:28 PM [+]
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A Sad Day in the Neighborhood – Mr. McFeely delivered the inevitable message: Mr. Rogers is dead. While a lot of people will probably have smart-ass things to say, I was always fond of Fred Rogers. When I was a little kid I loved his show. I liked Picture-Picture, I liked visiting his neighbors (especially Chef Tell), and I liked Trolley. What I really loved though was the puppet show. Today’s kid’s shows have high-tech graphics, CGI, and product placement. The Neighborhood of Make-Believe had hand puppets, characters you could empathize with, well told stories, and heart.
Book 6:36 AM [+]
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Good Old Future – (book notes) – The Past Through Tomorrow by Robert Heinlein – The fact that The Past Through Tomorrow is currently out of print is a damn shame. This is an omnibus edition that brings together the first four books of Heinlein’s “Future History” (Methusela’s Children, The Man Who Sold the Moon, The Green Hills of Earth, and Revolt in 2100) and lays them out in chronological order. RAH was never comfortable with the phrase “Future History,” as it seemed to imply an attempt at prophesy, but that is what his editor Joseph W. Campbell called it, and it stuck. This is the best of the early Heinlein, essential reading for anyone with an interest in science fiction.

I could write an essay on every novel and story in the book, but I’ll just mention a couple of points here. I’ve always been of two minds about “The Roads Must Roll.” On the one hand the image of pill-box hat wearing cadets training to join the elite engineers that run our national mass transit system makes me want to giggle. On the other hand the story is amazingly prophetic (a labor action threatens to shut down the nation’s transportation system – that’s happened) and wisely prescriptive (we sure would be better off if we weren’t getting around in SUVs). “If This Goes On—“ is a distopic vision of a future America ruled by fundamentalist Christians. It surpasses Margaret Atwood’s similar story in every way. The best piece in the book is the last, “Methuselah’s Children.” It introduces Heinlein’s most famous character, Lazarus Long, and brings together several of the characters from previous stories, helping to tie the series together. While his vision was brilliant, often surpassing his time, it was also sometimes mired in that time. In some stories you know that this was a writer living in the 30s or 40s, while in others the concepts, such as line marriage, are kind of shocking even today. This is ripping stuff, subtler and more thought provoking than many of his critics allow. Sometimes a science fiction fan just wants to read the good old stuff. This is it.

Book 9:21 PM [+]
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Happy Birthday – Today is my brother’s birthday. Eat, drink, and be merry pal, for tomorrow . . .
Book 9:15 PM [+]
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Blast From the Passed – Swedish crematoriums report on the growing problem of exploding corpses.
Book 12:15 PM [+]
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Who Wished For That? – A mother in Indonesia heard a noise in the nursery, ran in, and discovered that her 10 month old baby had just been circumcised by a genie. The article says “suspected genie,” but the phenomenon was confirmed by a local clairvoyant, so what’s to suspect?
Book 11:56 AM [+]
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Microwaveable Death on a Cardboard Tray – Ever since my doctor told me to watch the sodium I’ve been reading nutrition labels more closely. I’ve seen some nasty stuff, but this is just evil. This truly is the Breakfast From Hell (via: Fark).
Book 11:23 AM [+]
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Deep Clockwork – (book notes) – The Turk by Tom Standage -- In the late 18th century Wolfgang von Kempelen built a chess playing machine. It was essentially a table filled with gears and springs with a chessboard on top. It was wound up like a watch or a tin toy. On the far side of the table was a mechanical man, a dummy dressed in the turban and robes of a Turk. The dummy’s arm could move, pick up chess pieces, and place them on the squares. It could play chess. And it usually won.


That’s right, in 1770 a man built a machine that could play chess at a master’s level, beating Deep Blue by more than two centuries. Really? No, not really. It was a trick, but a darn good one. Von Kempelen built it to impress the imperial court in Vienna. After that the device took on a life of its own, capturing the imagination of the public well into the 19th century.


The Turk is one of those unconventional histories that casts light upon a little know aspect of our past and in so doing reveals unexpected treasures. In following the career of this device we learn about the vogue for clever clockwork machines that impressed the royal courts of Europe and how they inspired a growing belief that in the power of science and technology. We see how such toys later grew into useful inventions and inspired men such as Charles Babbage. Edmund Cartwright built the first power loom, convinced that he could do it after seeing the chess player. In that sense the Turk is the godfather of the industrial revolution and the computer punch card.


Standage gets to be something of an historical name dropper as some of the most interesting people of the time either saw the player, played it, had something interesting to say about it, or were linked to it by rumor. Empress Maria Theresa was fascinated, Benjamin Franklin played it (and lost), George III was rumored to have played it (probably not), and Jean Robert-Houdin wrote about it and made up a story featuring Catherine the Great that fooled the editors of the Encyclopedia Britannica, who included it in their 1911 edition. Napoleon Bonaparte played it and tried to cheat. The machine wouldn’t let him get away with it.


In the 19th century the device was purchased by Johann Maelzel, inventor, showman, occasional associate of Beethoven and “inventor” of the metronome (actually he stole the invention from Diedrich Winkel and ran to the patent office). He toured Europe and the United States with it and a collection of popular automata. He improved it somewhat, giving it the ability to say “echec” (“check” in French). In America he met a young P.T. Barnum, giving him a few words of encouragement. It was also where the chess player was seen by Edgar A. Poe.


Throughout the years various writers had tried to debunk the player, giving a variety of explanations for the seemingly impossible device. Some were foolish, some fanciful, and some pretty clever. The most famous of these (and the one that drew me to this book) was “Maelzel’s Chess Player” by Edgar Poe. Poe attempted to prove not only that the device was a fraud, but how it worked and why his explanation was the only logical solution. Poe believed that he could solve any puzzle simply through the power of ratiocination. He would later apply the methods he used in this essay to his fiction, inventing the mystery story.


I’ve always wondered how close Poe got, so I was looking forward to the penultimate chapter of the book were Standage reveals the Turk’s secrets. I won’t give away any secrets, but I’m afraid Mr. Poe would be somewhat disappointed by this book. I, on the other hand, was not. The Turk is a light, readable little history that gives us a fascinating look at the popular culture of the past.


BTW, pinniped has posted an interesting collection of links on the subject of automata. You might want to check it out.
Book 4:51 PM [+]
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Yet Again – Another case of someone dying from natural causes followed by relatives who need someone to blame for their tragedy and killing innocent people because they must be the evil sorcerers. It is increasingly obvious that this is a basic aspect of human nature and gives me reason to fear for our future.
Book 8:33 PM [+]
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Ornithology Today – Naturalists have recorded a serious decline in the population of rare vultures in South Africa. The problem is that vulture heads can help you win the lottery. What, you didn’t know that?
Book 8:31 PM [+]
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Not All Vampires Suck – (book notes) – Vampyrrhic by Simon Clark – Sooner or later everybody who writes about horror fiction has to tackle vampires. Science fiction has Trek-like space opera, fantasy has Tolkienesque trilogies, horror has vampirism. It is the most popular sub-genre and the first thing most people think of when you mention horror. “Oh, you like that spooky stuff? I’ll be you’re into vampires!” Well, yes and no. Yes, how can I not like vamps? They are a classic archetype, they are sexy, they are gruesome, they are the most versatile of monsters. You can do anything with them, you can make them romantic, disgusting, super-human, animalistic, weak, strong, or downright silly, and the basic image remains. On the other hand they have become ubiquitous. Tons of crud have been printed with fanged fiends on the covers. Some writers have made a pretty good living churning out thrillers with sad, romantic vampires -- pale, sexy people, immortal and super-powered, living out our dark fantasies of blood and lust. Oh, and they kill people and drink their blood. We have soft-core porn vampires, worlds with vampires on every corner (just there for the killing), vampires in warring clans (yes, like that game), and vampires who like to kill other vampires. Some of it can be pretty entertaining in a not-very-original, action thrill-ride sort of way. Some of it can be pretty good. Some of it can just plain suck (well, you knew that was coming).

The problem is that with all the stuff that has been written before it is pretty difficult to come up with any new way to use the old beasties. If you want to write something that stands apart you certainly don’t want the romantic sexy vampire as that has been pretty well played out. If you go with the monstrous creature type you may not be able to use the erotic aspects of your vamps. Furthermore you have got to make them powerful enough to be really scary, but find some way to check their power so that they don't take over the world in a few nights and so that our fearless heroes have a fighting chance. Sounds like a pretty daunting task for any writer.

Simon Clark has a reputation for being able to take an old theme and re-work it into something of his own. In Vampyrrhic he did just that. He took on the task of creating vampires that were revolting monsters but still had an erotic component. He gave us an army of the night that could destroy the world with a believable reason why they might not. His creatures have an air of verisimilitude that we rational 21st century readers seem to need, but still imbued them with a mythic quality.

Four people are brought together in the old English town of Leppington; a young woman obsessed by a fear of unknown forces, a brutal, savage man with a hidden talent, a woman with a dark secret, and a young doctor with a strange heritage he has yet to discover. They uncover the bloody secret of the doctor’s family and the town and learn that they are all that stands between a horde of monsters and mankind. A lot of recent vampire fiction has focused on the creature, robbing him of mystery and the ability to terrify the reader. Simon keeps his creatures in the shadows through much of the book, making them figures of mystery and menace. This original re-working of the vampire myth is inventive, the characters are fully realized, the monsters are interesting and frightening, and the plot and pacing is exciting. Vampyrrhic is one vampire novel that I would recommend even to horror fans who say that they don’t like vampire novels.

Book 8:18 PM [+]
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Mark Your Calendars – March 3rd is International Read a Comic Book in Public Day. I think this is a swell idea and makes a good point. Count me in. (via Bookslut)
Book 2:57 PM [+]
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Tom Gordon Gets a Pop-Up – Hellnotes reports that Stephen King’s The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon will soon be published in a pop-up version. I’m not quite sure how a novel that was largely hallucination and internal monologue will translate into folded cardboard, but I think it could be fun. Will the book be sponsored by Giant Glass (”who do you call when your windshield’s busted?”)? Will we be seeing the pop-up Tom “Flash” Gordon in his old Red Sox uniform? Will a 3D Trisha eat a fish -- head, tail and all? That would be cool. I just love the idea of pop-up versions of horror stories. How about a pop-up Books of Blood? Or better yet, wouldn’t the kids love a pop-up Santa Steps Out?
Book 2:11 PM [+]
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Watching Watching the Nightingales – Episode 14 arrived last week, but last week was pretty full, so I just got around to reading it. I’m kind of creeped out by Alex’s mom’s dermatological exam. It doesn’t seem to fit into the story. If that proves to be the case then it is just a random bit of weirdness and should probably be excised from the final version. Perhaps it has some significance that the reader is not yet aware of. I also think this episode was a little heavy with nostalgia for childhood. Alex’s maundering about fishing with bent pins and catching fireflies is getting dangerously close to being cloying and clichéd. I’m looking forward to episode 15 to find out what Jack and Freddy saw.
Book 11:27 AM [+]
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Update – Last month I posted my New Year’s resolutions. Let’s see how I’m doing.

1. Post more regularly. Pretty bad so far. I’ve been a lax blog keeper.

2. Post more book reviews. Terrible. I’ve got a few to write, but just haven’t had the time.

3. Consume less sodium, be less massive. Sigh.

4. Read more books. I’m on a pace to just about match last year. Perhaps I need to read shorter books.

5. Write fiction that is not crap. Not even close.

6. Make ravioli. Nope.

7. Make more money. Well, here we may have made some progress. I’ve gotten a promotion at work and will be running a store in the middle of town. The good part of this is that I’ve reduced my commute by an hour and a half a day (which is like getting another couple of weeks per year) and increased my income by a decent percentage (I’m still barely making ends meet, but I have a little more breathing room). The bad part is that for the last couple of weeks I’ve been running back and forth between my new job and my old, and have had almost no time or energy for a personal life. And I still haven’t gotten my raise. Oh well, it should all be worked out in a little while. Maybe then I’ll be able to get to the rest of the resolutions. I really want that ravioli. Well, enough about me.


Book 10:08 PM [+]
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My Folks Went to Bengal, and All I Got Was This Lousy Human Skull – A man police describe as a tourist has been arrested because he was carrying 100 skulls in a bag. I’m wondering what kind of souvenir shop he visited. I only ever find shot-glasses, spoons, and T-shirts.
Book 8:45 PM [+]
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Mmm. Groundhog – It is, of course, Groundhog Day. If you want to really get into the holiday I suggest you follow these instructions. Important tip: Don’t forget to remove the scent glands.
Book 8:36 PM [+]
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Watching Watching the Nightingales – Episode 13 arrived this week. Alex is recovering from his seizure (if that’s all it was) and Emmy tells him a family secret. It is truly something to behold, the way Douglas Clegg can reveal his plot’s secrets just a little at a time, keeping the reader hanging on episode after episode. With just a few well chosen words he can cause his reader to experience anticipatory dread, feel intrigued about the secret experiments of Mr. Nightingale, and learn to empathize with characters who feel as real as anyone I’ve ever met. I’m not sure how he does it. Something akin to alchemy I suppose.
Book 8:33 PM [+]
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Mass Waggle – I have always felt that shaving is a bit strange. Scraping a blade over your face seems to me to be a silly affectation. I salute my bearded brothers in London today, and be assured that I am waggling with them across the pond.
Book 8:32 PM [+]
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Fiction At Twenty-Four Frames Per Second – I finally saw the new Lord of the Rings movie. I quite liked it, of course. Very dark. I loved Gimli, the dwarf. Handsome fellow.
Book 8:10 PM [+]
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Magazine to Watch Out For – I see that Locus plans a special horror issue. We’ll just have to keep an eye out for that.
Book 8:02 PM [+]
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Music For Heroes – Earlier this week I bought a CD of Verdi’s Requiem. I wanted to give it a spin, but time has been a difficult thing to find lately, so I set it aside and made a note in my calendar on my first open day to remind myself to listen. Today, I opened my calendar and found my note. I had written just one word – Requiem.

The death of heroes is always tragic. They strap themselves to rockets and fly though wind, vacuum, fire, and ice at speeds that make bullets look slow. They push back the bounds of human knowledge and represent our highest aspirations. They are among the best our species has to offer. They give much and have much to lose. They know the danger of what they do. They understand it with perfect clarity. And they go anyway.

Book 3:37 PM [+]
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